Tenho Saudades de Você

I don’t get it. It’s just a freaking office position. Full background check? AND you haven’t even hired me, yet. What is wrong with you? I thought you were just going to check my driving and credit record. And make sure I hadn’t committed any crimes. You will be contacting my references and landladies, and asking them if I made any late payments and by how much. AND still give them an option to comment, all on paper. What the hell did I get myself into? I do not know who to contact to be like, “Never mind!!!”

Maybe I should just apply to CY Sac and try my best to get in for next year. Forget everything else. Okay, maybe really try hard to get an additional job, or one that pays better. But in the Sacramento area. Forget trying to find a decent paying job regardless of the location. Eff that! I don’t feel like relocating. I really don’t. As soon as the actual background check started was the moment I felt like maybe I was NOT serious about relocating, if having to. 

I like the Sac area. I love that I’m only two hours away from my boyfriend. I love that if I wanted to go to grad school, I could try to apply to one nearby. I love the fact that I have family here, that I actually enjoy being around with. Plus, I’m super attached to Baby Brother! *CUTIE!* And A.J. He’s definitely grown more on me. I was slightly biased in the beginning. Not so much anymore. (Nephews, for any of you who happen to care.)

I do know one thing for sure. I am applying to grad school for the 2013-2014 year. So that means, I need to get serious with my studying of the CSET. I am becoming more and more convinced that I want to go to UCD. I wouldn’t have to relocate. Right now, that seems like one of the things that really matters to me. I need to get my life going. Like, now! 

It feels like I have reached an epiphany regarding my future plans. Yet, I am pretty sure that something in my life will change making my plans pointless. Again. Therefore, I will be here ranting once again about my screwed up life. I’m so frustrated that I feel like crying. Maybe taking a nap will help. 

I want to do so many things. And I do not seem to have enough time for them. Here is what I mean:

First of all, I need to finish some of the Korean dramas I started a while back when I had a computer that worked. From there, I need to catch up on the most recent ones that some of my friends have recommended. 

I also need to catch up A LOT on music. I need to listen to the most recent The Used, Mayday Parade, Go Radio!, and Panda. I guess I can also refresh my memory on their old stuff too. Also, I have been meaning to listen to some new stuff that I have recently been exposed to, like Chevelle and You Me At Six. 

At last, onto the important stuff, I need to make sure I am making the right decisions regarding the next steps of my life. I never thought it would be so hard to not be a student. I HAVE TO go back to school and finish off my career, but of course I need to make sure I take the right steps and have the necessary requirements fulfilled before even trying to apply. So stressful. 

Wait, I forgot to mention that I am trying to find a way to make more money so that I can decrease the amount of debt I have sooner rather than later. This has got to be the hardest part of all. 

WHY IS LIFE SO COMPLICATED?! 

Anyway, enough ranting. Back to reality. Good night peeps!